


Hanahaki

by Evergade



Series: Sefikura Week 2021 - English [6]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Sefikura Week 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29086458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evergade/pseuds/Evergade
Summary: The countdown had begun. Cloud had spat a petal.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough
Series: Sefikura Week 2021 - English [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125470
Kudos: 37





	Hanahaki

The countdown had begun. Cloud had spat a petal.  
He was lucky to have recognized the first symptom right away. Most people who had Hanahaki’s disease didn’t realize it until after a while.  
But in his misfortune, Cloud had already seen this petal. It was the same one his mother had spit before he died. She tried to hide it from him, but he found out the truth. She had taken the time to explain, lying in bed, a few weeks before his death, what was happening to her. When someone felt a one-sided love, sometimes he caught Hanahaki’s disease. From the first petal, the countdown started and the patient had one year to make sure that his love was returned. Otherwise, they continued to spit more and more petals, then whole flowers. When they started to spit a flower, the countdown accelerated and there was only one month left. And if the person was not able to earn their love back, one day, one would find them dead somewhere, with his mouth full of petals and his throat full of vegetation.  
And when Cloud understood what was happening to him, he didn’t cry, he didn’t scream. He just accepted it. He knew the one he loved, and it would never be reciprocal. He had only a year left to live, so he wanted to enjoy it.  
At the beginning, it had been simple. He set himself the mission of entering the soldier, even if he reached only Third Class. To prove that he was capable. In six months, it was perfectly makable.  
No one had seen anything. He was very good at hiding his condition from his unit comrades and apart from telling him he should consult for his cough, no one had noticed anything. But unfortunately, after five months of effort, his captain had refused his validation.  
"You’re not strong enough, Strife," he said. "You’re too small, too skinny. Okay, you’re quick and smart, but that’s not enough. Practice more and we’ll talk about it in a year.''  
Cloud didn't say anything, thanked his captain for his time and resigned from the army the next day. He had rented a hotel room in which he was wondering what kind of work he could do while waiting for the end when Zack came to see him and asked him explanations about his departure. Like for everyone else, he lied.  
"I don’t think it's suit for me."  
"Oh, Spiky...'' Zack sighed. ''It’s too bad you’re giving up."  
Cloud was smiling.  
"I want to do something else with my life."  
''And you know what?''  
''Not yet.''  
He forced himself to smile.  
"But I’ll manage!"

This led to a long argument during which Zack convinced him to offer dinner ''in memory of the good old days''. Cloud had been tempted once, then twice, then once a week. There were a few times when Zack canceled because he was on a mission, but nevertheless, it was fun for Cloud. Then his condition began to worsen.  
He did not yet cough whole flowers, but the number of petals had slightly increased. His doctor advised him to have an operation. As no one had understood how to remove the flowers, the operation consisted of giving a product that removed emotions. It burned the heart, as his doctor had so aptly pictured. But Cloud had refused. Her mother told him before she died that she was happy to have had the chance to fall in love, and that she didn’t regret it for the world, not even her illness. Then Cloud decided to do the same. It was better to live a shorter life than a life without emotions.  
Zack found out about his illness one day when he broke down his door. Cloud was taking too long to open it and he heard him cough from the other side of the door. He forced himself in to make sure everything was okay and when he found his best friend surrounded by flower petals, Cloud had to tell him everything. Zack hugged him, cried a little, and asked if there was anything he could do.  
"Nothing can be done," Cloud said, spitting out another petal.  
"Maybe we can go to see the person you love and..."  
''No!''  
"But if we talk to him..."  
''Zack, it doesn’t work that way. You can’t force people to fall in love.''  
Zack held him tight.  
"That’s why you left the army."  
''Difficult to aim when choking on flowers.''  
''I would like to do something--''  
Cloud sighed.  
''Can I ask you something?''  
"Whatever you want."  
''I can't...''  
He trembled.  
"I can't bear to be alone. I know it's selfish of me, but can I come to your home, for the rest... until the end?"  
''Of course, Cloud'' Zack answer quickly. ''Whatever you want.''  
"That means when I die, you’ll have to take care of..."  
''Shh. I know what that means. I want to go through with you.''  
Cloud thanked him several times and when he finished coughing, they moved his small apartment to Zack’s bigger one. With the help of the First Class' friends, they sneaked the ShinRa Tower and managed to reach Zack’s apartment.

Zack had set him up in his guest room, telling him ten times to make himself at home, to don't hesitate to serve himself in the fridge or watch TV whenever he wanted. At first, things were going relatively well. Cloud cleaned and cooked and read or watch TV during the day. And when Zack came back, even if he was tired, he did everything to entertain the dying boy. He talked about his day, take him to the theatre or make him meet his friends.  
For two months, the state of Cloud worsened and after finding him passed out with his mouth full of petals, the phone out of reach next to him, the First Class asked to not be deployed outside Midgar, in order to be always close if there was a problem. When he was asked why, he spoke about personal reasons and his superiors wince. But he refused to explain himself further, saying that he could resume a normal mission rhythm in three months. His superiors refused, then he asked to be on vacation for the next three months. When asked if it was a joke, he kept his seriousness to everyone’s surprise and replied:  
"If it were a joke, I would have laughed. And I don’t want to laugh."  
He had ended up in Sephiroth's office, ordered to explain himself. But Zack refused. Even a threat of demotion had not made him blink. The General was intrigued.  
"I think I deserve an explanation of why you are destroying your career."  
"I won’t tell you."  
''Even without going into detail?''  
Zack sighed and repeated what he already said.  
''I have my reasons.''  
"Which are?"  
''Personals.''  
There was a knock at the door.  
''Yes?''  
His secretary entered.  
"Sir, I have a young man here who says he wants to speak to you."  
"Send him away," Sephiroth said, as if it was obvious.  
"Sir, this young man says he knows why First Class Zack Fair is asking for missions only in Midgar."  
Zack turned around saying 'No way! ' and intrigued, Sephiroth followed him. Cloud was sitting in front of his secretary’s desk, pale as a sheet. At three months to death, breathing became more and more difficult. He did not sleep enough because almost every night he coughed more and more petals. Zack rushed towards him.  
"What are you doing here! I told you not to leave the house!"  
"I won’t let you throw your career out the window."  
''What if you have a trouble? No one can help you and …''  
"May I know what is going on?" Sephiroth asked, behind Zack.

Cloud was relieved for once to be so tired because he was sure that if he had any blood left in his body, it would have gone straight into his face.  
"It is because of me Zack wants to stay here."  
''Cloud, you don’t have to...''  
But Cloud passed him and looked at Sephiroth. He must have looked very pitiful, with an oversized coat, his messy hair and his skin as pale as death itself.  
"Who are you?" Sephiroth asked politely.  
''My name is Cloud, sir. I am Zack’s roommate. Because he wants to take care of me, he asks to stay in the Midgar area.''  
Cloud certainly didn’t expect the first conversation with the person he loved so much that it was killing him to happened that way.  
"And may I ask why?"  
"I’m sick, and Zack makes sure I don’t die before my time."  
Sephiroth frowned.  
"Are you very sick?"  
Cloud sighed.  
"I have Hanahaki’s disease."  
"I don’t know what it is."  
"When you love someone but she doesn’t love you back," Zack said. Sometimes you have Hanahaki, who fills you with flowers until you choke on them.''  
''... And it’s treatable?''  
"No," Cloud said.  
"There is an operation" the secretary said.  
''I refuse to be turned into a robot,” Cloud says. “ It’s an operation of getting your emotions removed to stop the infection. But I refuse to live a single second without emotion.''  
''It would save your life'' Sephiroth commented.  
''I would rather live a shorter life than a long life without emotion.  
He expected a sharp remark from Sephiroth’s gaze, but he just looked at Zack.  
''I'll support your request.''  
And he went away. Cloud stood still and Zack brought him back to their apartment.  
  
Cloud’s condition worsened until the day he coughed out a whole flower. He refrained from letting his sadness go and burned it in the sink. A few weeks back, he decided how he wanted to spend his death. Zack didn't know exactly the date of his first petal. And if he could hide from him he was spitting flowers now, even for a week, that would be fine. Because his last night, he would tell Zack to go see his girlfriend in order to not inflict his death on him. Of course, he would find him dead the day after when he came back, but he had experienced the last moments of Hanahaki’s illness with his mother and he didn’t want to impose that on anyone.   
When Zack came back, Cloud acted as if nothing happened.  
''I’ve invited some friends to eat, don’t you mind?''  
Cloud smiles weakly, wrapped in a blanket.  
"No. It will do me good to see people."  
"Good, I went shopping."  
''You need any help ?''  
He began to cough and ran into his room. He vaguely heard Zack put down his groceries and join him. He spit out a large amount of petal but not a single flower.

"I’ll cancel tonight," Zack said.  
"No, certainly not."  
''Are you sure? You are still weak...''  
He coughed a few more petals.  
''Yes, but my condition won't improve. Invite your friends. Please.  
Despite his feeling, Zack agreed. Two of Zack’s friends had canceled Cloud then met Aerith, Zack’s girlfriend whom he had so often heard about and had the mixed pleasure of seeing Sephiroth again. As Zack opened beer cans while discussing their next mission with Sephiroth, Aerith took Cloud a little further. She gave him a sad and a warm smile.  
''Zack explained your condition to me.''  
"I suspected it a bit. Well, that means that everyone knows tonight."  
He smiles.  
"It will save me from making up excuses to explain my trips in the bathroom."  
But Aerith seemed sad.  
"I know it hurts. You don’t have to smile, you know."  
He continued to smile.  
"I’m fine, you know. Zack often asks me why I’m not more devastated, but the truth is, I’m fine."  
"Aren’t you afraid to die?"  
"Everyone must die one day. And I have the advantage of knowing when it's my turn."  
She softly sighed.  
"You know, Zack is very sad. He’s already lost a friend, and he’s had a hard time getting over it. I don’t know if he’ll get over this time."  
''About that," Cloud said, moving a little further away from the kitchen. "I have something to ask you."  
''Yes?''  
"One night, in a few weeks, I have... I have plans, and I’d like you to get Zack away from the apartment. Can you ask him to visit you when I send you a message?  
Aerith smiled sadly.  
"And I imagine he won’t like what you have planned?"  
Cloud looked at her with eyes wide open.  
"You are closer to the end than you say" Aerith said.  
''How did you guess?'' Cloud asked.  
"I know the flowers," said Aerith. "And Zack told me that your petals had grown."  
Stunned, Cloud dropped himself against the wall.  
"Don’t tell him, please."  
''When is it scheduled?''  
"I spit out my first flower today."  
She put her hand on his shoulder and said in a gentle voice "I'm sorry."  
But Cloud smiled softly.  
"That's life."  
He looked sad again.  
"Can you keep him away from home?"  
"Why do you want to do this alone?"  
"I know what it’s like to be there for Hanahaki’s last moments. And I don’t want him to see that."  
''Hey!''  
Zack waved to them. She smiled at Cloud.  
"I'll help you.''

They had dinner on the small table in the kitchen in the utmost conviviality. Everyone talked about everything. At one point, they were telling funny anecdotes and Cloud had a coughing and apologized. Zack sighed and got up to help him, but Sephiroth beckoned him to remain seated. He got up and went to see Cloud.  
Aerith gently rubbed Zack’s back.

''Hey, it’s gonna be okay...''  
Zack sighed a second time and wiped a small tear from the corner of his eye.  
"He’s my best friend and he’s dying."  
He sobbed and began to cry silently. Aerith kissed him on the cheek and asked him not to move. She went to see the other two in the bathroom and Cloud had his head bent over the trash, but he didn’t spit any more petals.  
''We’re going to go buy something Zack forgot about, okay? Can we leave you alone for 20 minutes? It'll be all right?''  
"I’ll take care of him," Sephiroth said.  
Cloud smiled at him before again spitting petals. She smiled at him and returned to the kitchen. Zack was still sitting with his hands on his eyes, trying to restrain himself from crying.  
"Come," she said to him gently.  
She took him by the arm and raised him gently. She smiled. "Come on, let’s go for a walk. You need it."  
He thanked her before kissing her on the forehead. In the bathroom, Cloud had stopped spitting petals.  
"You’ll be all right?" Sephiroth asked.  
"I think" Cloud said.  
''How many times a day do you cough?''  
''I coughs every six hours or so'' Cloud says.  
''Which means you’re close to entering your last month.''  
Cloud looked at him, stunned.  
"I inquired," Sephiroth said, smiling.  
Cloud smiles weakly.  
''It began today.''  
''Does Zack knows about this?'' Sephiroth asked.  
"No" Cloud said, with a sigh.  
They heard the front door close.  
"No, he’s doesn't know. Please, don’t tell him."  
"Why don’t you want him to know?"  
"I don’t want to... I don’t want him to see when I die. I don’t want to impose that on anyone. And I know he’s gonna insist on staying, if I tell him the date.''  
"I will keep the secret," Sephiroth said, after a moment.  
"Thank you," Cloud said.  
Sephiroth helped him to get up.  
''Cloud, that’s probably not the best thing to say, but.... I’m sorry. That you’re sick. Especially over something so stupid.''  
"Love is not stupid," Cloud said.  
''No, not love. What’s stupid is the person you love. Because you’re a caring person, Cloud. And if that person doesn’t love you, he’s really stupid.''  
Cloud smiles kindly at him.  
''Thank you, sir.''  
Sephiroth went back to the kitchen and Cloud sighed. _If only you knew... If you knew..._

Cloud saw Sephiroth several times after that day. He always took the time to visit him, despite his busy schedule. At first, Cloud thought he was coming to see Zack, but sometimes Sephiroth came by when he was alone. They were watching movies, spending long hours talking and drinking hot chocolate. Cloud had hoped that if he really got to know him, maybe he’d stop loving him. But to his deepest regret, it had not changed his feelings, on the contrary. Sephiroth was kind, always polite. He helped him when his flowers grew bigger and bigger. He calmed him down and made him drink water when his cough fit was calmed. He had even brought him a respirator, directly recovered from the infirmary, to help him breathe better. His breathing became more and more difficult, he felt like he was on fire with the irritation of the vegetation inside his body. And when the fateful day came, Cloud had sent a message at noon to Aerith. Zack had not returned at the usual time and immediately afterwards, Aerith sent him a message: _He is with me._  
Cloud thanked her and got up from bed with difficulty. Trembling, he looked for paper and began writing letters. He wrote one to Zack, asking for forgiveness and describing some support and some wonderful friend he had been. He wrote a shorter one to Aerith where he thanked her and wished her the best. Then came the one for Sephiroth. He hesitated for a long time about what to write and eventually changed his mind. He wanted to tell him the truth about how he felt. But if Zack read it, he probably would never forgive Sephiroth. He placed the two letters on the kitchen table and went to pick up his mobile phone.  
When the day finally came to an end, thus marking the end of his life, he settled comfortably in bed and composed Sephiroth's number. It rang four times before Cloud gave up. Given the time, he probably already went to sleep. But was he not surprised to see Sephiroth call him back.  
''Hello?''  
'' _Hello, Cloud? You called me_?''  
"Yes. Excuse me, were you asleep?"  
'' _Unfortunately not yet. I have some paperwork to do. We’re leaving tomorrow with Zack, so I have to finish the preliminary report.''_  
''Okay.''  
 _"You wanted to talk to me?"_  
Cloud sighed as he watched the alarm clock. It indicated 11:57 pm.  
"I just wanted to hear your voice."  
 _''Cloud, is everything all right?_ '' Sephiroth asked, anxious.  
"It’s okay" Cloud said in a small voice. "I have to tell you something, Sep...  
He began to cough and spited out several flowers in a row. As he resumed his breathing, he heard Sephiroth calling him on the phone.  
'' _Cloud, where are you? Zack is with you?_ ''  
"No" said Cloud, in a very small voice. "No, he is not here."  
 _''Okay, I’ll call him-- ''_

''No!'' Cloud almost shouted.  
He started coughing petals again.  
"No, please, no" he cried.  
It was 11:58 PM.  
"If I have called you" he went on, "it is because I must confess something to you.''  
 _''Tell me''_  
"It’s hard," Cloud said, crying. "It’s so hard..."  
 _''Cloud, where are you?''_  
''Not at Zack’s'' lied Cloud. ''After he left, I’m sneak out, and I'm in a park. I didn’t want Zack to find me.''  
" _Tell me where you are and I will come for you._ "  
"It’s too late, Sephiroth."  
He heard a squeaking sound in the telephone.  
" _Was it your last day today?_ "  
"Yes," Cloud cried.  
" _Tell me where you are''_ Sephiroth asked. " _Don’t do it alone_."  
"It’s too late," Cloud said. "Sephiroth, I called you to tell you... To tell you..."  
He coughed more. He spit out a large handful of petals. He sniffed.  
"I called you to tell you that I love you" Cloud cried.  
Sephiroth did not answer him for a moment.  
It was 11:59 PM.  
" _Oh, Cloud... I am... Why didn’t you tell me?"_  
"I’ve been in love with you for years," Cloud said, relief to finally get that off his chest. ''I always hoped I wouldn’t catch Hanahaki because I knew I certainly die. And I thought if I met you in person, it might make a difference, but... I’m sorry...''  
He cried and heard Sephiroth moving on the phone. Cloud was stricken with a violent cough. It was 12 o'clock.  
  
What woke him up was the alarm. He could hear the alarm on the floor ringing. Cloud lifted up off the bed and heard muffled noises, like people running, that probably came from the main hallway on the floor,. Then, as he stretched out his ear, he heard someone crying. He went out of the room, still a little misty. He found Zack and Aerith crying in the kitchen. He remained still and Aerith was the first to notice him. She cried out as she got up and hugged him. Zack raised his head immediately and rose up in turn when he saw Cloud and pressed him against him.  
''You never do that to me again, okay?''  
"I don’t understand," Cloud said.  
Zack handed him the letter. And it came back into his mind. He had Hanahaki and yesterday was his last day.  
"Why am I not dead?" he asked.  
He paused for a moment and noticed something even more disturbing.  
"And why do I breathe so well?"  
Zack and Aerith looked at each other. Cloud looked at them. And ran out of the apartment.

''Cloud!'' Zack Called behind. ''Cloud, what’s going on? You should go back to bed!''  
"Where is he?" asked Cloud.  
''Who?''  
''Sephiroth!''  
''Why?''  
Zack froze and grumbled.  
"You love _him_? Why didn’t you tell me about it?"  
He put his hand in his hair.  
"Hell, if I had known it was him..."  
"Zack," Cloud said, running towards him.  
He grabed him by the shoulders.  
"I healed. I need to know where he is."  
Zack sighed.  
''This morning he blew up the simulation room and the creatures in Hojo’s lab. Since then he has been confined to his apartment. No one can get him out.  
''Thank you.''  
Cloud ran out of the apartment. He went to Sephiroth’s apartments, three corridors away. He saw a squad of soldiers trying to break down the door and three Turks were talking to him through the door. Cloud approached, snuck between the soldiers and knocked on the door.  
''Step back, kiddo'' a Turk with red hair said, moving him away.  
"No! Sephiroth!"  
And as the soldiers were about to give an umpteenth blow to the door, it opened. Sephiroth appeared, black circles and his eyes and immediately spotted Cloud. He rushed towards him to embrace him. Cloud pressed against him.  
''You are alive...''  
"I healed" he said.  
Sephiroth strayed a little.  
''Cloud... I...''  
''I know.''  
Cloud kissed him and Sephiroth squeezed him more.  
"General," a Wutaian turk said. "You must..."  
''No'' mumbled Sephiroth by lifting Cloud up.  
He went into his apartment and kicked the door shut.  
''General!''  
Inside, they heard the blows on the door again.  
"You’re not afraid they broke it?"  
''No. Hardened steel. It would withstand the explosion of a mako bomb.''  
He looked at him.  
"Don’t ever do that to me again. I thought I was going to die of despair..."  
Cloud laughed and took his face in his hands. He felt tears of joy flowing.  
''I promise.''  
Sephiroth kissed him on the forehead and pressed him against him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for your support! And I think this is the end of the line for me, folks. Love you anyway. <3


End file.
